I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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