Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Randomize
