i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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