Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
