I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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