i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
