i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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