I skipped work to stalk him.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
