do herpes really smell.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We need a shit load of segways right now
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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