It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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