TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I will be naked everywhere
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
