dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
