It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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