Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
