Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
