the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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