i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
