Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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