Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
