So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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