I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
