do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You need Xanax blowdarts
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
