I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Can I color on your dick again?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
