i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
