I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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