You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
