i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
