stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
