It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she told me i tasted like america
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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