I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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