also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
