at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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