I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
