Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
