problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
