can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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