You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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