Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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