Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
