so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
