so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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