your room smells of hookers.
And success
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
