i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
