So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
