I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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