just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
