yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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