He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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