Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
