She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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