Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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